The 5 Most Common Reasons People Have an Anger Problem

Posted byCounseling WiseonSeptember 23, 2019

Anger is a common, normal emotion. Many times, it can serve a useful purpose.

Quite often, though, it’s perceived exclusively as unfavorable. This mindset is mostly accurate because when anger is a problem, it can be a huge problem.

When addressing such situations, it helps first to understand more about a powerful emotion called anger.

Anger Is More Than Just Occasionally Feeling Mad

If you you have suffered a trauma, you may feel feel antagonism toward a person or situation; and you will probably express anger. This knowledge can help let others know how you think and to find solutions.

An anger problem, however, is something more chronic and extreme. You may feel out of control or violent. Your responses are disproportionate to the events that provoked them. Anger is one of the symptoms of post traumatic-stress disorder.

People with anger issues almost utilize rage as a default setting, and this manifests in several ways.

Plenty of telltale signs exist pointing to an anger issue, such as:

  • People avoid you

  • Others feel unable to reason with you

  • Your relationships, career, and health are negatively impacted

  • You feel irritable and impatient

  • You shut down and cannot explain your feelings/actions

  • Anger leads to alcohol and substance abuse

  • Passive-aggressive behavior becomes your norm

  • You get angry too often and stay mad for too long

  • Others “walk on eggshells” when in your presence

  • You see violence or violent threats as an acceptable option

The 5 Most Common Reasons People Have an Anger Problem

As mentioned, although anger is a natural emotion, an anger issue goes beyond the ordinary or acceptable expression of this intense emotion. Here are a handful of common reasons why some people deal with an anger problem.

1. Feeling Disrespected or Ignored

Everyone likes validation. In today’s social media culture, this comes in the form of likes, shares, and other reactions. A casual glance at online behavior demonstrates an epidemic of fury. It is not surprising that much of this digital outrage can be carried over to real-time rage.

2. Traumatic Events

Illnesses, injuries, death of a loved one, divorce, financial crisis—the list goes on. The traumas you endure can breed animosity. If you have not cultivated effective coping mechanisms, this anger can simmer and linger. This is a reason to consider PTSD counseling.

3. Social Dynamics

While social discourse can be confusing, the reality remains that hierarchies exist. Far too many people are judged by their gender, skin color, nationality, age, sexual preference, and financial class. It can feel infuriating to be the target of discrimination. The more it happens, the more likely it is that anger becomes an issue.

4. Everyday Personal Problems

You don’t need to feel trauma to experience frustration and ire. Life is filled with minor disturbances—from bad weather to annoying in-laws—that can add up. The cumulative effect of so many daily micro-aggressions can be a chronic antagonism.

5. Past Experiences/Childhood

During your childhood, you learn plenty from your parents and other elders. Unfortunately, a fair amount of these lessons result in unproductive behavior patterns. You may recognize that you are frequently angry but remain puzzled as to the source. This situation is where counseling comes into play as a proven and accessible option.. Counseling give you the opportunity to identify the source and determine if it was a traumatic event

A Common Reason Why Anger Remains a Problem

It’s no fun to admit flaws. If you are prone to anger, you may react strongly to suggestions about anger management. Thus, a common reason why anger remains a problem for some people is an unwillingness to accept it.

Working with a therapist eliminates one big obstacle. You may not wish to discuss emotional concerns with someone you know well. There’s a lot of baggage in all such relationships, after all.

Meeting with a skilled professional creates more space for blunt and vulnerable conversations. You are able to identify the triggers from your trauma that increase your likelihood to experiencing disproportionate anger. In that setting, exposing patterns and discussing solutions are more likely.

As you can see, having an anger issue can impact your life and the lives of those around you. Asking for help, therefore, is a giant step in a new direction.

For more information on PTSD, click here to go to my PTSD Counseling page.

I am here to partner with you to transform your life. If you are ready to transform your life, please contact me to schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation.

About the Therapist

Gay A. Hunter, M.Div., LPC-S, is a licensed professional counselor who graduated from Brite Divinity School at TCU. She is committed to partner with you to transform your life. She owns a private practice in Fort Worth, TX. She specializes in online therapy. She is trained in Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. To find out more about Gay click here

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